A Week and a Half Set-Back

Here is part two from what happened last week, you know, the weight loss (or lack thereof) stuff I'm supposed to be writing about. I'm warning you right now that this post does get a little "Debbie Downer" which is not how I like to be. I guess it happens to us all sometimes though.

The first two weeks of the October Challenge (in case you forgot what that was by now- Tighter Belts and Even Tighter Wallets) went pretty well. I didn't meet all my goals each week, but I met a lot of them with eating better being the most important one. I didn't lose weight, but I was getting back into good habits at least. Then came my fall program and me falling off the wagon...

The week of the 15th started out okay, but I started slipping into bad habits again. The week of the 22nd I completely fell into my old habits again such as eating too much fast food, sugary snacks, not working out. It really had to do with being stressed out about things at work and using food as a comfort or coping mechanism. This seems to be one of my biggest struggles.

This is my sixth year doing music programs and getting evaluated (and my fifth year at the same school with the same boss), but it still seems to stress me out and get to me. I worry about things I probably shouldn't even worry about. I know that is part of having a job and any job I have I will have stressful times. I really need to start coming up with ways of dealing with these times better. One component of that is actually taking time out for myself and my family. I get so involved with work and start staying after work longer, coming in on the weekends for a few hours, and taking home whatever I can do at home.

The day after my program I really took a look at myself in the mirror and was really unhappy with what I saw. I finally faced the scale and I gained two pounds. Later that day I broke down and started crying and looking at the Weight Watchers (WW) website. I came to realize I don't really need WW. I did the online program before, but never went to a meeting. The whole idea behind meetings, weighing in, and getting support and useful advice appeals to me. I feel very alone at this weight loss thing sometimes. I know that there are people I work with and family members that have and are trying to lose weight and get in shape. I just feel that it would help if I had a workout buddy or someone (or a group) whom I met with regularly to talk about this kind of stuff.

I have a great husband, but he really doesn't get this whole process and the difficulties with it. He has the opposite problem of me. He has actually had the doctor tell him to gain weight! I try talking with him about this stuff and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't. I know this blog is a way of communicating as well and maybe if I start doing that more regularly I will start feeling better.

It has been so long since I've lost any weight that I don't even remember what it feels like anymore. I know I felt wonderful and that feeling was better than any material reward that I gave myself for reaching a goal. I briefly looked at the clothes in my "motivation closet" and it made me want to fit into those clothes again. I thought by this time I would be pretty close to my goal weight or at least smaller enough that I would need a new winter coat. Not that I would be struggling to fit into the same clothes that fit at the end of last winter.

I finally broke down and bought some new undergarments and shape wear since the ones that I'm using now are starting to fall apart. I could really use new pants, but am somehow still wearing my 14's. I feel like I'm going to blow a button or a seam, but I already gave my 16's away. I really don't want to buy new "big" pants again. I've already started thinking about a new goal to set for Monday and am starting to feel some motivation return. I would like to spend tomorrow and Monday really working on getting things in place for me to succeed at this goal. It is time for me to get back on track and spent more time on me and less on other people and work.