Week Three, Day Two and Three and Emotional Eating

Well, I have fallen way off of plan. No reason for it. Just did. I was feeling lazy, nostalgic, watching too many episodes of Blossom online (in less than two weeks I finished seasons three, four, and five), and missing the '90s. It is embarrassing, but I do feel that I should share some of what I was eating. I guess there is no time like the present to try and pick myself up and get back closer to plan. So much for the 80% on plan this week...

Another thing I have been thinking about is why do I do this to myself. Why do I binge eat on sweets and carbs? I wish I had a problem binge eating on salads! I don't know why, but out of no where I'll crave something sweet really badly and can't stop thinking about it. I feel I can't accomplish anything until I go out and eat that said food item. Afterwards, it usually makes me feel pretty bad. If I eat too many carbs, then I get really sleepy. I feel much better after eating the way my plan says. It gives me more energy and motivation to keep on going.

I know that it has nothing to do with actual physical hunger. It is an emotional issue. I'm either stressed out, bored, upset, or some other emotion I don't want to deal with or do something about. That is my problem. I need to do something else do distract myself or deal with the emotion so that I don't eat. I used to deal with emotions through music. Playing the flute is my thing. Since my jaw pain has been worse, I barely play at all. When I am done playing the flute, I get that feeling that many people describe having after exercising. I know my options are to pick another instrument (I have a keyboard and a guitar sitting there waiting for me to play them.) or start to try to build up my jaw muscles again enough to play my flute on a regular basis and maybe even join a community band.

This is me so excited to play a Christmas song to my family. It is '94 and Blossom was hip and must have inspired my outfit. The Aldi paper bag stand is also awesome.

My eighth grade year and final concert at my K-8 school.

This is my senior year- Snow Queen. I love how great I look at this weight. I think I'm around 135- 140.

One of my possible senior pics my mom took. I didn't choose it, but I love it looking back at it now. It makes me miss my long hair!

My senior year at St. Joe in a practice room. This is when I started to gain a lot of weight. I'm probably around 160 - 170.

I know that I have read about this before and even have a list somewhere of distractions to keep my mind off of the food. I need to find that list and put it on here and actually start using it.

Tuesday's Food:

Breakfast:

• Doughnuts
• diet 7Up

Lunch:

• grilled chicken wrap
• salad
• ice cream

Dinner:

• crispy chicken wrap
• chocolate chip cookies
• ice cream

Exercise: About an hour of cleaning.

Wednesday's food:

Breakfast:

• pancakes and sugar free syrup
• crystal light

Snack/Lunch:

• mini cheese pizza

Dinner:

• pancakes and sugar free syrup
• diet 7up

Exercise: I have spent over an hour cleaning again. I also went on a walk with the hubby. I didn't time it, but I would guess it would be about 15-20 minutes.